Altho the lifestyle in Sri Lanka was a 180 degree flip, i felt at ease. at home. I dint feel any violent desire to return home, like nancy did. If u told me i had to spend forever there, i might even consider it. What brought me back? in some weird reasoning, I want to go back there, but not as i am. I want to do so much for them, and being unequipped as i am, i know i wldnt be able to achieve much. There is stil so much yet to be done for the country. when ure up in sri lanka, i felt a sense of purpose. a sense of being needed. a sense of being wanted. If that isnt the true meaning of life, then i wldnt know wad is. When i was over there, i was able to do some soul-searching. I reflected upon my life. I tried to foresee the future. Perhaps thats the reason i dint miss the ppl i knew back here so much. When u have higher aims and objectives, relationships seem so frivolous. For instance, if I were busy contemplating a better future for the people of Sri lanka, I wldnt be as preoccupied on why Senthil doesnt msge me at times. I KNOW that u shld live each day as ur last but its realli obtuse if you arent wise enuff to speculate the future. In my opinion, that platitude is def not applicable to every situation. The gist of it is, DONT PROCRASTINATE. "patience is a virtue" goes hand in hand with the above mentioned cliche. Certain things require the time and the specific intelligence to carry out the deed. You can merely blabber out that u like a guy. You have to evaluate his feelings for you and his commitment as ure putting ur reputation at stake.
Okie..back to my story abt my future. Well, its difficult for me to understand why ppl are so caught up in *making money*.I believe that if its not earned thru sweat, it wldnt last. I realized that its the surroundings and the way people around us react that has moulds us to become who we are. I agree with Plato when he states " we merely see the shadows of who we truly are" For instance, if i had been born somewhere other than in Singapore, i wld hav turned out totally different. I wld have different piorities, opinions, stands and the price of happiness wld differ vastly. Thus, if something as tangible as the surroundings or money can change the person i am, who am i truly? I realize that the more advanced you consider yourself, the more hollow you become, as a person. Life is truly simple. It is beautiful. It is to appreciate and to be appreciated. It is to love wholly and be loved infinitely. It is the apt inclinity of fellow humans to complicate and twist out lives that leaves us so drained and lost at the end of the road. The rat race is nothing other than a maze of life. We think we have a purpose, we think we have a destination. we Struggle, we persevere to reach the end. But once we reach, wad do we receive? Well, we MAY feel a sense of accomplishment, but how long is the feelin goin to last? moral reasoning being, we torture ourselves all our lives with the delusion of a better future. We get entangled in a rat race but who are we working for exactly? for yourselves? oh pls. if so, then why dont u get the chance to spend your money? Basically, ure working for the government, for the state, to put it more accurately. sO that u can trot down to all those third world nations and proudly exclaim, hey i'm frm "some upper-class nation" I realized that I cant do that. Its not me. I cant live for no reason. I cant go thru the hum drum of daily life with no purpose other than to live a comfortable life, perhaps be rich enuff to buy the entire LV collection or live in a hotel suite all my life. As a human being, I would want to live. To reach the end of my life and say , " hey, ive lived a fulfiling life" When i've attained that sense of purpose, i know i wld be happy.
and so her story is told@ 10:49 PM
